Ramblings

The year is almost over.

Thank. God.

This has been one of those chaotic, bizarre years that you will never forget but cannot wait until its over. A lot of how I see the world has been redefined this year, for better or worse. I’m very glad for it though. You seemingly ignore certain realities around and in you, not because you always choose ignorance, but, I guess, in more of a slow burn fashion, become number and number to those realities.

There is no instantaneous reflection for this one. Its going to take some time to come to terms with it. I know this sounds terribly dramatic. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Either way, I guess this is my present reality. Controlled chaos? Sure. I’m not completely certain how else to define the whirling dervish my thoughts have become.

But, you know, this is life, this is living, and I wouldn’t give it back. Would I do things different? Probably. But who knows! Doing things differently leads to different outcomes and who knows what THAT would lead to so, I think what I’m trying to say is, yeah, it is what it is. This is where I am. This is where YOU are.

(Side note proving my point: On the news they just said some guy died from being overrun by fire ants that bit him… now, c’mon, if you want to get into a debate about fate and destiny… we’ve gotta talk about THAT guy)

(Double side note: My previous singular, universal, unifying fear in life was being mauled by a bear. Scratch that. My new singular, universal, unifying fear in life is being mauled by an armored bear. Yeah, sorry, you meet an armored bear, anywhere, you’re pretty much effed.)

(Triple side note: That was a terrible, terrible movie and no one can convince me otherwise… screw the controversy, try making a decent movie, you know, with coherent plot points and well developed characters that I actually give a flying flip if something happens to them, THEN we can progress to controversy. Thanks.)

(Quad side note: For those of you not familiar with me, this is how my brain works… you’re gonna have to deal with it. You’re reading this. Not me. Don’t complain.)

Okay, so, my point is, its not really worth my or your time to sit around and pout about how we wish we could have done things differently. Because we can’t. So what do we do?

I wish I could, with complete conviction, give an answer here. But I can’t. Because I can be a basket case sometimes. Thinking becomes my enemy. As strange as that may sound. Shock of shocks, I don’t always have myself together. I’m making it a goal these days to be completely honest with myself. I guess I’m carrying that over to you lovely people. Whomever you may or may not be.

So lets all agree, no looking back, yes? Momentary reflection, sure, digging a trench in it, no… Cause, seriously, life is too short. It really is.

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~ by Jeremy Stanley on December 13, 2007.

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